WHAT DOES IT COST TO BE AN ANTI-RACISM EDUCATOR OF COLOR IN AUSTRIA?
-by Anna Gaberscik
©Reza Majdodin
Anna Gaberscik is a U.S-American - Austrian anti-racism educator, artist, activist, writer, director and culture worker based in Vienna.
My journey to becoming an anti-racism-focused artist, activist and (so-called educator) has been an interesting one.
I say ‘so-called’ educator because this was something that I just ended up doing, a result of interventions that I saw as necessary in the circles that I was in. I moved to Vienna from New York City in 2015 to study political science, and I noticed a lack of critical discussions about racism at the university. To my surprise, I observed a similar deficit in artistic and creative circles I was in, which prided themselves on having a very critical, open, and progressive reputation.
This deficit manifested itself in a lack of critical conversations about racism, cultural appropriation and artistic responsibility where the perspectives of People of Color are centered. It manifested itself in the reproduction of racist, sexist, heteronormative, fatphobic and classist power structures in, for example, dance and artistic forms that were created for the empowerment and liberation of People of Color. The unwillingness to talk about racism and white supremacy in artistic contexts as it still prevails today, as I see it, is an unwillingness to listen, rooted in an unwillingness to change.
Conversations about racism in any sector, especially in the arts, should be transformative and lead to change that has a positive impact on People of Color. What I have observed, however, is an over-intellectualization into oblivion of topics such as racism, an over-intellectualization that does not lead to challenging the status quo and where whiteness remains centered. This does not lead to change but instead often leads to intellectual justifications of racist art. Racist imagery and language, for example, are reproduced in the name of artistic freedom.
This year, my performative documentary movie with the Triangle Studio, EDELWEISS. came out. It's a movie about the often difficult realities of People Of Color in Austria. The EDELWEISS. tour has included screenings with workshops, screenings with panel discussions, audience discussions and various creative and interactive formats. Nonetheless, I have heard from people, white people, time and time again, that I should make more ‘room for discourse.’
More people than ever have been introduced to my particular way of working, teaching, and speaking through this film, and so the reception to certain boundaries that I set for myself and, now, my team, have been met with hesitation and criticism.
What that critique essentially means a lot of the time is that sitting through a 1.5-hour-long movie about racism in Austria with People of Color being the only ones to speak or a workshop about racism in Austria taught by a Person of Color who is directly affected by that racism warrants defensive reactions from some white people. This defensive reaction is a result of having to endure uncomfortable truths and stories that directly conflict with the comfortable reality that they are used to. These defensive reactions are constant occurrences in my encounters as an anti-racism artist and educator in Austria.
This defensiveness, this unwillingness to listen or change, is a key part of what makes being an anti-racism educator of color in Austria mentally and psychologically exhausting. That is also what makes being a person of color in Austria exhausting.
Statements are interpreted as questions, the validity of facts questioned and the severity of stories of racist encounters downplayed, all in the name of ‘discourse’. Workshop and talk spaces are extremely unsafe places for anti-racism practitioners because we must be able to withstand the contestation of our lived realities and defend them while staying professional and constructive. For myself, I try to avoid at all costs getting too personal, in order to protect myself. However, there is an expectation to get personal; to drive a point home, to make your case a more believable one.
Some of the strongest breakthrough moments in workshops and talks were when I crossed a personal boundary that I had set to protect myself and my privacy in order to make a point. This constant retraumatization seems like a ‘part of the job,’ and it shouldn’t be.
The mental toll that takes on anti-racism practitioners of color is not confined to the time span of a workshop or a discussion. We are left to process things outside of work time. The costs of therapy are not included in the workshop fee, and neither is the time that might be spent looking for a mental health practitioner of color or a mental health practitioner who has experience in dealing with racism.
Being anti-racist isn’t a thing you are; it's a thing you do and learn to be. It's a life-long process of learning and unlearning, and the lessons that you learn can be in a workshop but mostly happen all around you all the time. It's a process of becoming vigilant, aware and active.
One person in one workshop cannot answer all your questions, and it is no one person’s responsibility to ‘enlighten’ another.
And to those on the receiving end of those questions, particularly to the People Of Color who are not anti-racism educators, remember that you don’t owe anyone your stories, and you certainly don’t owe anyone answers to questions that can be googled.
Anna Gaberscik (USA/AT) is an anti-racism trainer and activist, performer, writer and director. Her work focuses on anti-racism and questioning patriarchal, heteronormative, and white narratives and discourses.
Anna is the founder of Through Our Eyes, an interdisciplinary project that explores anti-racism, intersectionality, and empowerment in various creative forms. Developing and curating performances, films, events and awareness trainings with an anti-racist focus, the project Through Our Eyes addresses difficult issues through a critical yet creative lens. Her latest film with Triangle Studio, EDELWEISS. is a performative documentary about the often harrowing reality of People of Color in Austria.