VERA AND THE BANKER

A sometimes erotic series about the relationships between plants and their human counterparts

-by Lina Piskernik

I was walking home from my banking job in the first district when I saw her for the first time. Somebody had abandoned her outside, just disrespectfully leaving her in a sunny spot on the pavement, ready to be urinated on by any passing dog. Her leaves were propped up against the bottom of a rusting bicycle.

She looked parched, her soil was dusty, and her leaves hung low. Obviously nobody had taken care of her for a long time and thought they could just throw her away like she was some kind of object. She was a young aloe vera plant and must have been repotted recently only to be abandoned, surely by some alcohol and drug-abusing art student who couldn’t muster up the time to give her the love she needed. Luckily, I, responsible adult male with a full-time job at the bank, came across her.

Seeing her so vulnerable on the summer-heated pavement hurt me. I could feel the need to help this plant damsel in distress. I knew that I had to take her home with me and take care of her. I needed to show her that not all people treat plants this harshly. Some of us do really care. There are nice guys out there!

I quickly picked her up before someone else could grab her from me. I held her close to my chest, heart pounding as her prickly aloe vera leaves scratched against my business suit. I knew it was wrong to have the feelings I was having for a plant like her; a plant in distress. But there was just something about her. Was it her helplessness that was turning me on? I tried to push my thoughts away. She seemed too young for me anyway, just a little sprout of an aloe vera really.

It was only a quick walk to my penthouse. I saw the two of us together for the first time in the elevator mirror and I smiled to reassure her that everything would be ok. As I carried her into my penthouse with a view overlooking the city, I placed her near my kitchen sink and fed her some lukewarm water. Then I went to my hallway closet to find a bigger pot and some plant earth. I already knew of the perfect spot on the balcony that she would thrive in.

Back in the kitchen I gently lifted her out of her tiny, chipped pot, which must have been her prison for too long. Her root system was thick and it looked like she was attempting to outgrow her pot but to no avail. I was ecstatic to give her this new home. A nice and large pot with plenty of earth where she could grow into a mature plant.

I couldn’t help myself as I was placing her in her new vessel, I lightly brushed my fingers against her roots. Then I made the next move and intertwined my fingers a bit with her. I smiled as I already felt our bond growing. For a second I thought that I could feel her move a bit, was it a sigh of relief on her end? Were her roots tightening around my fingers? My reasoning told me that this wasn’t possible, and yet…

I placed Vera in her pot, added the plant earth to stabilize her and watered thoroughly. I left her in the corner of my rooftop balcony where the sun stayed the longest. I wanted to give her time to rest.

Throughout summer and early autumn, Vera stayed in that sunny spot as she was growing and becoming accustomed to her surroundings. When the nights became too cold, I brought her in to keep me company in my living room, the sunniest area in my penthouse. I made sure to feed her the best water, often the leftover water from steaming vegetable which held extra vitamins and nutrients. It was in winter and spring of that year when she truly began to flourish; leaf after leaf emerged, and they grew longer and wider. It was beautiful to be able to watch Vera become herself and to heal in her own time and space. I loved gently cleaning her spiky leaves of dust every couple of days, but on one particular day one of her spikes caught my skin in such a way that I began to bleed a little. It was as minimal as a paper cut and it burnt like one too. At first I was offended that Vera would treat me this way. Was she angry with me? Did she not care for me that way that I cared for her?

I sucked on the small cut as I gave in to my negative thoughts. I stopped wiping her leaves of dust, believing that she needed some time for herself. After a couple of days, I took Vera to my rooftop to repot her again as she has truly matured into a vivacious and bountiful aloe vera plant. I had taken off my shirt as it was one of the first days to reach summer temperatures. I was just about to place my hands in her pot to lift her and place her in her new larger vessel when, to my horror, she pricked me again. Did she not want me near her at all? I was besides myself at the idea of Vera flouting my advances. My eyes were filled with hurt as I looked at another bleeding scratch and then at her.

Suddenly a gust of wind from the open window moved her leaves, smacking my naked chest almost violently. A shudder moved through my body as I finally understood what Vera was attempting to communicate with me. She did not want to leave me at all, she wanted to be close to me, but in a more non-traditional way than the usual plant-human relationship. The gust of wind blew across the balcony again and Vera’s leaves smacked me on the same spot, leaving a red mark. This time I did not feel anger or sadness, I finally understood what she wanted. I felt pleasure shuddering through my body. Somehow she knew that I enjoyed the fusing of pain and pleasure.

I blessed Vienna for being such a windy city as Vera’s leaves continued to slap against my hairy chest. My breathing became erratic as I was close to my highest point of excitement. I knew that the next slap, even if it was the most gentle, would set me off. But that was exactly when she stopped. It was as if she knew what I was feeling at that moment.

I collapsed on the ground next to her and it took me ten minutes to regulate my breathing again. I was overwhelmed by the experience. Who would have thought that my sweet aloe vera plant had such a dirty side? I gently grasped one of her leaves and broke off the very tip. I spread Vera’s soothing aloe juice on the red welts on my chest, thanking her for our beautiful shared experience.

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PLANT LOVER: Part 2

VERA AND THE BANKER