IMPROPER DOSE NO. 20
©Ale Zapata
Growing up
-by Barbora Horská (Curator / Editor-in-chief of Improper Dose)
…were you made responsible for what other people (wanted to) do to your body or were you born male? Not forgetting about intersectionality, white, too?
Regardless of gender, because misogyny harms everyone and anyone can experience abuse, how many of us were taught to think of our bodies as a pleasure source? On the other hand, how many of us learned to associate them with fear, pain, and shame? And if pleasure entered the conversation, was it your own or the amount of satisfaction provided for another and how much of your worth as a human being was tied to that ability?
Our bodies are sexualized before we can even start developing a conscious relationship with them. Even the idea of health seems to be based on 'biological' or socially constructed attractiveness, one based, of course, on the heteronormative cisgender perspective focused on procreation and male pleasure. While we somehow understand emotional awareness is still a confusing topic for many, it seems ridiculous that in a society obsessed with material reality and an immediate reward system, we have similarly little knowledge about all the sensations we can feel physically.
Even if you somehow got to avoid a misogynistic understanding of personhood, what about the human touch that has nothing to do with sex? How many parents have been advised not to comfort their children to avoid making them 'clingy'? To how many of those children, the world is now not safe, no matter the comforts surrounding them, because when they asked for their needs to be met, no one answered? For how many of them, physical touch became the primary love language, carrying the trauma of being left to 'cry it out' as a subconscious belief they are unlovable?
If even we, the more or less privileged ones who grew up without experiencing war or major natural disasters, need to ask so many fundamental questions before we can get out of survival mode and start leaning into the joy of being a human –what about the rest?
Losing everything we know to be our reality is immensely difficult. It is unimaginable to deal with it while the autonomy of one's body–the last safe space– has been sexually violated. Before you continue reading, please consider donating to one of the initiatives established to provide medical assistance to the victims of gender-based violence in war and conflict. If you understand Czech or are willing to put the extra effort of using an online translator, you can support the women and girls of Ukraine here.
Now back to our little lives –experiencing pleasure is still essential. A joyful body speaks of health louder than the BMI index, so it might be worth it to reflect on the obstacles standing between you and your nervous system's magic. If you navigate the healing journey via arts, use this weekend to apply for our group show –Hast du Lust?– the deadline is next Monday, April 18.
If the only pleasure you are seeking here is the act of reading, continue below to the sneak peek from Lina Piskernik's upcoming Zine – A collection of Short Stories. An excerpt from Grandmother Beech illustrated by Andrea Z. Scharf is followed by another episode of Pedro del Real's comic series, I run high on the new and I love the old –this time illuminating the world of online platforms. This month, you can also read the interview with Philiam Shakespbeat we had the pleasure of hosting as a part of Improper Sessions and expand your horizons by getting to know a few Ukrainian artists that recently arrived in Vienna.
One way or another, enjoy!